Still alive..ish.

Whoa, so sorry about the lack of posts. I had a lady email me the other day and a guy friend of mine is met on set like “are you okay?? I haven’t heard back from you or seen any new health updates?”.

Sorry!! I’ve been dealing with an infinite amount of craziness, and just took a break for a bit.

Health stuff..uhh, I finally started my new entivyo infusions 2 weeks ago and today was my 2nd loafing dose..it’s rough. Not g0nna lie. The fatigue afterwards is legitimately unlike any other medications and last time it lasted almost a good full week (then I got deathly sick, which made it 800 times worse!😣😀). It gives me joint pain  (or in my case my already bad bilateral hip pain) for the first couple days and it causes a pretty good loss of appetite  (with more frequent trips to the toilet). And I’m just on my 2nd dose! (See how excited lol) 

It’s something about hearing the nurse say “we’re just waiting on them to finish mixing up your chemo” that really sets things back in perspective for you. Like “oh yeah, I forgot I’m now on this heavy hitter infusion because my body hates itself”. I know it sounds weird, but I really do forget that I’m sick sometimes because I spend so much time pretending I’m superhuman and indestructible.

As much as I’d like to be, I’m not, and that’s the reality. Which is fine, but it’s definitely getting old with these heavy duty drugs with extra side effects . I’m praying that the good will outweigh the bad like the glory days of when Remicade worked, but alas, even that came to a short end. 

What I’m really NOT trying to do is continue one more hot-damn year with the same bs health problems and them same bs life. So..I’m gonna need for this stuff to work, so that I can enjoy what I have left of my life…like a normal effing person. πŸ˜’πŸ˜€

I think I’m at that point in my life where if it doesn’t make me happy, fit in with what I want for my life or it doesn’t positively benefit me, I’m not doing it, I’m out, no thanks. lol. 

I’ve got enough bad, stress and drama. 

I literally sat there while getting my treatment and looked back on all the people I would’ve laid my life down for and treated so well and then how they did me or where are they now? Shitty and Gone. 

I don’t have those Kinda  years left to waste of mistake, 1 day rentals type people.

And guys, PLEASE, stop hitting my inbox up with “u gonna let me hit, send me a pic of that ass” messages. 

If you can’t hit me up to see how my battle for my life is going, or see if I need anything, or even if I want dinner..you sure as hell bet-not ever inbox me that shit again.βœ‹πŸ˜’

Stashia out.

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