I’m Struggling

I’m actually the BEST actress because every single day all day for the last 15 years, I’ve gotten up and presented a entirely different image of myself. I am strong and determined and a fighter.
However, I have been groveling and begging to just have my basic needs met by my healthcare providers.
I have reached a point where I am not being closely managed by anyone for my severe illnesses, minus my new pcp.
I had to beg to get orders to have my chest port flushed and get labs drawn bc I am taking my treatments. I just had labs drawn for the first time in 3 years from my GI.
I am struggling so much. I’m having to lay on the floor multiple times a day to prevent passing out, I’m not eating, I’m exhausted, my mind is foggy, I’m in a terrible Crohns flare and my Dysautonomia is the worst it’s ever been. I’m tired of trying to do this alone bc it’s not getting me anywhere and I’m so incredibly frustrated.
If anyone knows any patient advocates, advice or recommendations on where to go and what to do next, let me know.
I just want to move on with my life. It’s been 15 years now and it’s like everyone (healthcare) has abandoned me.
I went to the ER with chest pain, palpitations, passing unconscious and hitting my head and abdominal pain, fearing for my life and they turned me away in triage. My previous pcp wrote me a letter saying “he’s terminated our patient provider relationship” for failure to follow recommendations? Cleveland Clinic is MIA. My GI dr here is doing nothing. My endometriosis is all over my bowel and uterus and can’t be removed any further from what CC said. My blood work was awful, but no one cares enough to do anything.
It makes me feel like I’m just not worthy of saving, treating, helping, care or compassion in the eyes of the healthcare providers. When the ER turned me away, it really made me feel like they were blatantly saying “your life holds no value to us”.
I hope no one ever has to experience the amount of suffering, neglect and injustice that I’ve had to endure thus far in my 29 years of life.
I just wanted to finally say what I’ve been going through bc they always say that the truth will set you free.
Thank you 🙏🏾 to the few people who have my back no matter what. I love you guys so much.
And don’t start, I’m not have some dark moment or anything 🤦🏾‍♀️😅 I just needed to give you all some context and background before my health shit inevitably hits the fan bc no one is doing anything to help 😅🙃

mentalhealthawareness #speakyourtruth #chronicillness

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