I’m here, but I don’t know what I’m expecting.
Really, subconsciously, I expect nothing.
I’ve learned by now that more than likely “nothing” will be done to really look for a cause and “nothing” will show up on results.
It’s like I’m this semi/existent being and only certain things and parts of me reveal themselves to the world.
Or the people in charge of the healthcare have chosen not to reveal the things that they really have found.
I oftentimes feel like I’m in a fish bowl.
I’m this experiment that some group of sick, sadistic billionaires have put together for their entertainment.
They control what jobs I get,
What care I receive,
What relationships can be..
For this time, in this phase of life, on this planet, they control it.
Just to see what happens when you put someone under an immense amount of trauma and stress in different situations.
It does make you think, though. What they trying so hard to suppress? What is it that you’re trying to stop from happening?
So far, they’ve invested fifteen years into trying to keep me chained down, drugged up and blind, only to come to the harsh realization that I just won’t give up or crack.
It’s humorous almost.
Lucy loves to make a mockery of the righteous. The whole “as above, so below” theory, if you will.
Throughout all the centuries of planning my demise, my suffering, my torture and humiliation, they didn’t once expect the unexpected.
They’ve planned to watch me in the fish bowl, from the comforts of the glass, suffering. They’ve planned to watch me beg for it to end and then they have even seen me become numb and aware to it all.
What they didn’t expect and didn’t think was possible, was for me to break free from the trance.
Break free from the glass walls they’d built around me in order to see what real life looked like.
I broke through all of the smoke and mirrors and I looked my enemies directly in their eyes and said “I’m not afraid anymore & I don’t belong to you”.
What they wanted was to break me down to the point where I gave up Faith and gave up on God. And they almost did, I’m not going to lie.
There were many of times since them taking my life from me that I was angry and didn’t understand how or why this was happening to me.
We all go through that, don’t we? The “why me?” Phase.
However, I’ve never been one to just sit for a long amount of time in a situation I don’t like without trying to change it.
Instead of being angry and feeling like God had left me right after I got sick, I started to realize that I was feeling empty and lonely now.
I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone and like I didn’t even know if anything I had known was the truth. I started meditating and praying once again on a regular basis and I thought that would make things easier.
What it did was made me wiser, made my eyes open and allowed me to hear what needed to be heard.
The world got a lot darker and people weren’t as pretty in their true forms.
I started noticing things and feelings about people that I hadn’t before and those feelings were my angels guiding me.
The more I went through with my health, the more I prayed and meditated, like clockwork.
I became infatuated with getting to know God and being able to communicate with Him and my Angels through feelings and messages they’d give me.
I started noticing the patterns of how much my life and health sucked based on my level of “awareness”.
Now that I’m awake and fully aware of what the world really is what what’s really been going on around me, I’m pretty unfazed.
I’m not afraid and there’s nothing that they have that I want.
That’s what they didn’t expect.
They didn’t expect me to grow more spiritually powerful and awake. They didn’t want me to break free from that mental state they had me under and they wanted me to part with my Faith.
But I got stronger in every way and I’m continually getting stronger.
The time for change is upon us and it all started with breaking free.
When you no longer have fear and materialistic things to control the masses, you have nothing.
When you choose to no longer be a slave to the world and just want peace, you free yourself from a lot of things.
Unfortunately, time is running out for those (who’ve until recently)sat high and mighty at the top.
It will be the fall of an government and the rise of an Empire.