Healing Mommy & Daddy Wounds: Why Your Childhood Still Chooses Your Partners

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Let’s talk about something that hits deeper than most people are ready to admit out loud:
Your romantic partners are often a reflection of your childhood wounds.

I know. Oof. 😅

Whether you were raised by a narcissist, neglected by a parent, grew up in dysfunction, or even “just didn’t feel seen,” that pain shows up in who you’re drawn to, how you show up in relationships, and what you allow.

The Root of the Wound: It Starts With Childhood

Before you go blaming every heartbreak on your ex, I want to gently (but directly) invite you to ask yourself:

• Why did I choose that person?
• What in me thought that was love?
• Where did I learn to accept that kind of treatment?

Because here’s the truth: if your inner child is still hurting, unacknowledged, or frozen in time, that’s who is dating for you. Not your healed self. Not your wise self. Not your divine, powerful, intuitive soul. Nope. It’s that insecure 12-year-old who got bullied for wearing glasses or the teenager who was told they weren’t enough.

And that version of you will accept crumbs and call it cake.

Ugly Duckling Syndrome: When Your Confidence Gets Stuck

So many of us were late bloomers. Maybe you were awkward, overlooked, or even straight-up rejected growing up. And even now, beautiful, successful, magnetic, part of you is still stuck in that version of yourself. You’re still dating from that wound. And it sets the bar low.

Because deep down, that inner voice whispers,
“This is all I’m worthy of.”

And that voice is lying. However, if you never go back to confront it, it continues to run the show.

What Mommy & Daddy Wounds Actually Look Like in Adult Love

It’s not about blaming your parents. It’s about understanding the energetic imprint they left on your heart.

• If your father was absent or abusive, you might crave male validation so badly that you end up choosing men just like him, even when you know better.
• If your mother was critical, neglectful, or emotionally unavailable, you might replay those dynamics with women who mimic her energy or abandon yourself to gain their approval.
• And sometimes, you didn’t even realize the wound was there until every relationship keeps ending the same way.

We think we’re choosing consciously. But our subconscious, especially our wounded inner child, is louder.

Repeating Patterns ≠ Love

Let me say this loud and clear: You’re not cursed. You’re conditioned.

You’re not “just attracting toxic people.”
You’re attracting familiar energy. Unhealed energy.
Because when a wound is still open, it’s magnetic and not in a good way.

I had to face this in myself. I kept calling in the same energy in a different body. Same pain, same dynamic, same disappointment over and over. Until I realized…

I was matching with people who mirrored my unhealed parts, not my healed potential.

And until I reclaimed those wounded parts, I couldn’t rise.

For the Men: Let’s Talk About the Mother Wound

This isn’t just a “girl-daddy issues” thing. Men, I see you too.

If your mother was unstable, emotionally manipulative, absent, or even overbearing, and you haven’t addressed that pain, it shows up in who you date, how you express emotions, and your ability to receive love from women.

One of the most heartbreaking things I ever witnessed was a man I worked with, who kept ending up with women who treated him like an afterthought because deep down, that’s how his own mother treated him. And no matter how good of a man he became, his heart was still chasing the version of love he never got to fully experience.

That’s the power of the inner child. And until we see them, we can’t free them.

How You Start Healing (for Real)

Here’s the hard truth:
You cannot just manifest your way into a healthy relationship if your inner child is still bleeding.

You have to:

1. Acknowledge the wound.
   Ask the hard-hitting questions. Be radically honest with yourself.
2. Feel what you couldn’t feel before.
   Let those repressed emotions come up so you can finally release them.
3. Reclaim your frozen parts.
   Go back in time and give that inner child what they never got — love, safety, worthiness.
4. Redefine your standards.
   You are not that wounded child anymore. You are grown. You are sacred. And you get to choose something different now.
5. Forgive them and yourself.
   Your parents were handed shitty jelly bean trauma bags, too. Most did the best they could with what they had. But you can break the cycle. You’re the one.

You Don’t Have to Accept the Jelly Beans

Every generation gets handed their own bag of metaphorical “trauma jelly beans.”
They’re bitter, gross, and not your fault.

But it is your responsibility to decide what to do with the bag.

You can hand it down to the next generation like your parents did…
Or you can say:
“This stops with me.”

You are the cycle breaker. You are the healer. You are the one your lineage has been waiting for.

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If this hit home and you’re ready to stop repeating cycles, let’s work together.

✨ Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Me
✨ Grab my book The New Earth Guidebook to Healing & Ascension on Amazon
✨ Explore more at AscensionOracleVii.com

Until next time,
Vii 💫